Urges to use compulsive behaviors are a combination of cognitive, physical and emotional sensations which can feel strong, confusing and overwhelming. The following steps will help you make different choices, rewire the brain and move forward in recovery.
STEP ONE: NAME & TAME THE URGE
State precisely what it is you are experiencing.
Say out loud: “I’m aware that I’m having the thought…”
That I need to…do an unhelpful behavior (self-harm, use drugs, binge, use porn, wash hands)
That I should avoid… a helpful behavior (such as eat, get out of bed, go to work)
Say out loud: “I’m aware that I’m having the sensation of …”
Shoulder tension
A pit in my stomach
Tightness in my jaw, neck…
Racing thoughts
Fidgeting
An adrenaline rush
To tame something means to make it manageable. Remind yourself,
“These thoughts and sensations are just my brain responding to triggers. I can survive this and I don’t have to act on the urges. ”
STEP TWO: FIND THE FEELING
Seek to understand your feelings and current life circumstances.
Say out loud: “I’m aware that I’m having the feeling of…”
Sadness
Depression
Emptiness
Despair
Loneliness
Anger
Irritation
Frustration
Impatience
Fear
Anxiety
Concern
Panic
Guilt
Shame
Self-hatred
Self-doubt
Boredom
Confusion
Feeling lost
Powerlessness
Joy
Happiness
Relief
Anticipation
STEP THREE: FIND THE FUNCTION
Identify how the behavior may be functioning as an attempt to meet legitimate needs in your life.
Examples:
Power
Voice
Control
Choice
Safety
Routine
Familiarity
Escape
Relief From
Guilt
Shame
Fear/Anxiety
Identity
Significance
Admiration
Accomplishment
Love
Acceptance
Inclusion
Intimacy
STEP FOUR: IMAGINE RECOVERY BEHAVIORS
Visualize how you can act as you find healthy ways to meet your needs.
Rather than imagining yourself using behaviors, visualize acting on recovery behaviors and how they positively affect you.
Examples:
I see myself reaching out to someone for encouragement
I see myself working on a project that I enjoy
I see myself being present with people rather than obsessing
Now, take the steps you imagined.
If negative thoughts come to mind (such as “I don’t deserve recovery” or “I can’t do this”) do your best to let those thoughts go and write them down to discuss later with a friend, therapist or support system.
STEP FIVE: REFOCUS
If the urges persist, focus your attention on something requiring concentration. This is more than distraction. Immerse your mind as fully as possible into something other than the behavior. This focus, along with abstaining from the behavior, rewires the brain to learn new, healthy behaviors. Examples:
Examples:
Deep breathing or yoga exercises
Games that require strategy
Listen intently to music (try and identify different instruments)
Learn a new, challenging skill
Talk with a friend and practice good listening
Solve a challenging puzzle
Read/watch a mystery