Urges to use compulsive behaviors are a combination of cognitive, physical and emotional sensations which can feel strong, confusing and overwhelming. The following steps will help you make different choices, rewire the brain and move forward in recovery.

STEP ONE: NAME & TAME THE URGE

State precisely what it is you are experiencing.

Say out loud: “I’m aware that I’m having the thought…”

That I need to…do an unhelpful behavior (self-harm, use drugs, binge, use porn, wash hands)

That I should avoid… a helpful behavior (such as eat, get out of bed, go to work)

Say out loud: “I’m aware that I’m having the sensation of …”

Shoulder tension

A pit in my stomach

Tightness in my jaw, neck…

Racing thoughts

Fidgeting

An adrenaline rush

To tame something means to make it manageable. Remind yourself,

“These thoughts and sensations are just my brain responding to triggers. I can survive this and I don’t have to act on the urges. ”

STEP TWO: FIND THE FEELING

Seek to understand your feelings and current life circumstances.

Say out loud: “I’m aware that I’m having the feeling of…”

Sadness

Depression

Emptiness

Despair

Loneliness

Anger

Irritation

Frustration

Impatience

Fear

Anxiety

Concern

Panic

Guilt

Shame

Self-hatred

Self-doubt

Boredom

Confusion

Feeling lost

Powerlessness

Joy

Happiness

Relief

Anticipation

STEP THREE: FIND THE FUNCTION

 

Identify how the behavior may be functioning as an attempt to meet legitimate needs in your life.

Examples:

Power

Voice

Control

Choice

Safety

Routine

Familiarity

Escape

Relief From

Guilt

Shame

Fear/Anxiety

Identity

Significance

Admiration

Accomplishment

Love

Acceptance

Inclusion

Intimacy

STEP FOUR: IMAGINE RECOVERY BEHAVIORS 

Visualize how you can act as you find healthy ways to meet your needs.

Rather than imagining yourself using behaviors, visualize acting on recovery behaviors and how they positively affect you.

Examples:
I see myself reaching out to someone for encouragement

I see myself working on a project that I enjoy

I see myself being present with people rather than obsessing

Now, take the steps you imagined.
 

If negative thoughts come to mind (such as “I don’t deserve recovery” or “I can’t do this”) do your best to let those thoughts go and write them down to discuss later with a friend, therapist or support system.

STEP FIVE: REFOCUS 

If the urges persist, focus your attention on something requiring concentration. This is more than distraction. Immerse your mind as fully as possible into something other than the behavior. This focus, along with abstaining from the behavior, rewires the brain to learn new, healthy behaviors. Examples:

Examples:

Deep breathing or yoga exercises

Calm.com

Games that require strategy

Listen intently to music (try and identify different instruments)

Learn a new, challenging skill

Talk with a friend and practice good listening 

ReflectivePrayer.com

Solve a challenging puzzle

Read/watch a mystery

Tetris.com